yet i'm at another state of unease.
emotions again.
they can be so irritating sometimes.
i dun wish to feel in anyway vulnerable to being emotionally hurt/pained/uncomfortable.
but what i feel now is probably very mild. melancholy? perhaps. it's pouring like mad as i look out my office window. whole sky is dark and gloomy. bah!
at least i saw a rainbow this morning.
should've taken a picture of it while i could but it didnt occur to me at that time. i merely stood by the window staring out at it and hoping it wun disappear so fast.
i dun like to feel stressed.
i hate decisions sometimes.
i hate being jealous. no it's not about my relationship.
not family either.
just a special friend.
cant explain clearly without being understood.
anyhow, those whom i can share my feelings with aint ard.
she's happily in korea.
*snarls*
and how i wished i was there for her yesterday.
or perhaps...today.
guess everybody copes with pain differently.
i don't know. haiz
suddenly i have this feeling of walking out alone.
going to the streets buying perhaps a beer.. or a soft drink (healthier?) and just randomly walk with no particular destination in mind. perhaps snack on wadever i catch my eyes on.
mebbe havin company is alrite too.
sit o'er some quiet corner perhaps cuscaden where i intoxicate myself with beer and chats till late at night w terry. or just be auntie-material and drink teh-peng down at the kopitiam w chingling.
what the hell am i doin with my life now?
my contract got extended til end of Sept.
life's at a.......routined pace so far. no complaints.
simply no progress.
i see ppl ard me talking abt studies.. uni.. life is passin me by once again
almost like a dejavu.
i'm not afraid of being in unfamiliar grounds actually.
been there done that during poly.
it's simply re-enacting itself once again where ppl ard me are moving ahead and me.. stuck?
it irritates me not that i don't have a degree.
i wun say i dun giv a hoot abt it cos it matters in nowadays society.
but it's the tot of not progressing forward and not learning things that i could learn that bugs me.
how one bad decision we make in the past affect us so much now.
not talking about myself. i havent done anything so far that i'll regret so much
it's when i look at others.
the amount of work to un-do or 'right' the path we've chosen wrongly is so damn daunting.
suddenly i feel like hugging my cousin.
don't ask me
i just feel like it.
haiz.
RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr.
ok bo-chap mode on again.
fuck it all.
*grins*
aime's bdae
was my colleague's bdae last friday. cute lil' woman. ^__^
i went n have my haircut and rebonding over the weekend. saturday that is. poor wilson had to sit through the entire session with me cos he insisted in accompanying me and me havin forgotten how long it'll take tot it's gonna take 3 hrs but well.. major miscalculation on my part. it took 6 hrs!!!???
hahahahahahhahahaha
damn jia lat.
then from 9+ all the way i sat on the stupid chair with them slappin on chemicals onto my hair and putting this HUGE vacuum thingy o'er my head to some sorta steam my hair or something and wilson text me via sms sayin i look like an alien with huge head from behind. bwahahahhaha
when my hair was finally done it was already 2+pm!!!!
whoa.. nearly died. wilson had to work night shift on sat so at night i stayed home to use some computer. havent been online at night for ages and ages and once i was on i was bombarded with msges and soon chingling asked if i wanna mit up for a drink downstairs. so we did. at east coast park heh! quite crowded actually. then was chatting away while sitting at coffee bean drinking coffee and ching's friend joined us. soon we jio our relic of 4-ppl-lunching grp (frm office, that can only be leehuei bwahahaha) to join us. i think she'll kill me if she reads this but she don't read my blog one bwahahaha
she wore glasses and her eyes look so damn freakin small. anyway we chatted n all and drank some stuff here n there and time really flew man. (oh yeah beach hut is a nice place to sit n chill by the beach) and by the time i got home it was already 4am in the morning. concussed immediately. think wilson nearly smacked me wahahaha he told me to sleep early end up lidat. but it aint muh fault!! leehuei dun let me go!! n i want to pee so badly ahahahahahahha
anyway, woke up on sunday morning to head down to geylang bahru. that's where wilson stays. we went there to look for him and have breakfast together cos mom wanted to try the prawn mee wilson always eat. taste quite fine but my preference was with the one near mi hse hahaha like to sprinkle lotsa lotsa chilli powder.
then mom went on her own walking spree throwing me with wilson. so me n wilson did some visiting for awhile before leaving for suntec where i had a peek at the MANGO sale hehehehehhe so packed. jia lat. in the evening we left for home and went rollerblading HEH yes yes at 7pm!!! thank god the shop opens till 10pm hehehe apparently wilson is of friendly terms with one of the shop assistant there who always asks him about bike and all the practical test thingy. even gotten discounts bwahaha
damn cooling to rollerblade at night.
monday after work me n wilson joined his friends for steamboat o'er at marina south. think we went the wrong stall cos the food not as good as the one i went to twice before. played some arcade here n there then left for home sometime midnight i think?
yesterday was a super duper busy day for me with leehuei on MC n me havin lotsa files to load n stuff. *stones* YIFENG IS OFF TO KOREA!!! RARR!!! *awaits souveniors* hehehehehehe
me n dear went to east coast to have our dinner but when we got home we were super tired somehow. think i didn't sleep proper position. neck aching like mad. RARR...
sano's bdae this coming monday. WEE!
Hehehehehe Me n my new hair cut and superbright orange top!!!!! Nice ma?
Just randomly posing hehehehe
27 June 2005
SAGITTARIUS WOMAN
let's see...
A tall slim and graceful woman who walks proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition.
no i'm not tall.. no i dont think u guys will agree that i'm graceful either..
If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step.
i will try to act blur to minimize the embarassment. have the 'fall dwn then fall dwn lo' expression. bwahaha
She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seems so happy. She will not get up set easily.
i try ya. altho hailoon say she dun dare to talk to me when i first work here. (>__<)
Self confident woman who believes in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one.
true i guess
She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get up set or love her more.
tact lah dey. got fren once said that everything i say is very deliberate and for a reason. pro-subtle brainwashing. *smirks*
She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home.
Butt itchy. cant sit still.
She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders.
yes yes. order me and prepare to get flamed.
She has no respect to a weak man.
Muahahaha. v true. weak men get trampled to death by me. not say no respect lah. like i tend to over-power that weaker male.
If she try to over power you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respects you.
yup yup.means i must have some fear of u blowing ur top. if i'm nt afraid of u even when u're angry, u're as good as a goner with flat head full of my footprints.
She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.
yup
She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says "Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy.
yupyup.
If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story.
(o_O)
She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable.
cute sounds better. *eyes darts ard dangerously*
She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spend lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again.
i'm a stingy person.
She is a paranoid.
yup.
If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting married and lost her freedom and so on and on.
Er..........exaggerated.
A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy.
Muahahaha
She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy.
Girly girls ought to be fried. RARR
She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself, so you should not bother what people think.
DO I LOOK LIKE I FREAKIN CARE!! *copies wallet shop slogan*
Her wit and innocent look are her charms.
*blinks*
She is often hurts from love, but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something.
so mafan. prefers getting straight to the pt.
If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you.
*thumbs up*
let's see...
A tall slim and graceful woman who walks proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition.
no i'm not tall.. no i dont think u guys will agree that i'm graceful either..
If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step.
i will try to act blur to minimize the embarassment. have the 'fall dwn then fall dwn lo' expression. bwahaha
She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seems so happy. She will not get up set easily.
i try ya. altho hailoon say she dun dare to talk to me when i first work here. (>__<)
Self confident woman who believes in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one.
true i guess
She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get up set or love her more.
tact lah dey. got fren once said that everything i say is very deliberate and for a reason. pro-subtle brainwashing. *smirks*
She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home.
Butt itchy. cant sit still.
She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders.
yes yes. order me and prepare to get flamed.
She has no respect to a weak man.
Muahahaha. v true. weak men get trampled to death by me. not say no respect lah. like i tend to over-power that weaker male.
If she try to over power you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respects you.
yup yup.means i must have some fear of u blowing ur top. if i'm nt afraid of u even when u're angry, u're as good as a goner with flat head full of my footprints.
She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.
yup
She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says "Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy.
yupyup.
If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story.
(o_O)
She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable.
cute sounds better. *eyes darts ard dangerously*
She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spend lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again.
i'm a stingy person.
She is a paranoid.
yup.
If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting married and lost her freedom and so on and on.
Er..........exaggerated.
A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy.
Muahahaha
She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy.
Girly girls ought to be fried. RARR
She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself, so you should not bother what people think.
DO I LOOK LIKE I FREAKIN CARE!! *copies wallet shop slogan*
Her wit and innocent look are her charms.
*blinks*
She is often hurts from love, but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something.
so mafan. prefers getting straight to the pt.
If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you.
*thumbs up*
22 June 2005
found this in feng's blog haha
Everything more or less I agree with in the result of this quiz actually EXCEPT the last line abt me thinking love is something i don't need. haha i dun think of that. perhaps that result was due to me choosing a horse to be the animal i wish to be for 5 min if i had the choice. i chose it cos i like the feeling of freedom. that surge of adrenaline to gallop at top speed across pastures of green with nothing to care for during that moment in time.
i always enjoyed that sense of adrenaline rush derived from great speed that represents freedom. u simply have no idea how much i yearn for it.
pigeon on another hand....... haha it's headin bobbing-ness irritates me. but it's stable. so end up if u chose pigeon i get the result i want instead.
to say what i feel about love at this moment.. this would probably explain better.
The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. |
Everything more or less I agree with in the result of this quiz actually EXCEPT the last line abt me thinking love is something i don't need. haha i dun think of that. perhaps that result was due to me choosing a horse to be the animal i wish to be for 5 min if i had the choice. i chose it cos i like the feeling of freedom. that surge of adrenaline to gallop at top speed across pastures of green with nothing to care for during that moment in time.
i always enjoyed that sense of adrenaline rush derived from great speed that represents freedom. u simply have no idea how much i yearn for it.
pigeon on another hand....... haha it's headin bobbing-ness irritates me. but it's stable. so end up if u chose pigeon i get the result i want instead.
to say what i feel about love at this moment.. this would probably explain better.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment.
Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
there's this sudden urge within me that speaks to my passion in picking up what i've left off.
to pick up the dust-collecting japanese notes i've studiously penned down over the 4 years of my given-up course. not given up out of my own willing choice of course. all bcos of the darned internship attachment and that stiff-necked HR person frm the company i was working in insisting me to work on the day of my class and supposedly granting me half day leave but only to deviously cheat me to come back to 'pay back' the other half day with another day which i'm supposed to be on leave. who would agree to such thing? and stripping me off from the energy and concentration to study, i found myself struggling back then, to cope with the progress of the course. to find myself almost drowning as i fall back with things taught to me at a rate i could no longer keep up and exams were merely 3 mths away. choices. to fail? or to give up course of study? u cant proceed when u fail and i was almost sure i'll fail so i made the decision to quit in hope of returning perhaps... another day.. someday?
i've been readin the novels written by David Eddings recently. The Belgariad & The Mallorean. all 10 books of them. think it took me more than a mth to complete reading all these bks hahaha and i've already read it 3 times (including this round) over a span of years since secondary school days. the book sorta never fails to get me reading it like an addict and i remembered the time when i first read the bk. the addiction hit main blood stream and seeped into it hahahha i was holding the novels almost every single moment and read it the moment i could spare time to do so. i found myself holding the book in my hands almost except the time i'm sleeping. i'll read when eating.. read it just before i sleep and read in during the journey i make to go school and of course, that includes the time i have when i'm free.
now that i've finished knitting 3 hp pouches for 3 different people whose birthday are coming up (and one is for my dearest of course, as a bdae present.) and now i proceed on to my next project which is also a bdae present. a scarf. gonna take a long time to complete though. since my readings are more or less coming to an end i think i'll find myself with more time to spare to concentrate on my knitting now.
in the bus today i had some strange feelings. some strange feelings for the future showing how nice things may turn out and what is waiting out there. suddenly a surge of long unfelt emotions came to me. hm.. i havent felt this for quite sometime. at least not this strongly. i think i could almost find myself smiling unconsciously, i think i didnt?, that.... i really do love him alot don't i? and the surety in it makes me feel very settled. i'm been kinda shaky lately. not in my feelings.. but in my own confidence and i've become unsure of myself.
last night's short exchange of smses was helpful to what settled my nerves i guess.
today's mommy's bdae.
to pick up the dust-collecting japanese notes i've studiously penned down over the 4 years of my given-up course. not given up out of my own willing choice of course. all bcos of the darned internship attachment and that stiff-necked HR person frm the company i was working in insisting me to work on the day of my class and supposedly granting me half day leave but only to deviously cheat me to come back to 'pay back' the other half day with another day which i'm supposed to be on leave. who would agree to such thing? and stripping me off from the energy and concentration to study, i found myself struggling back then, to cope with the progress of the course. to find myself almost drowning as i fall back with things taught to me at a rate i could no longer keep up and exams were merely 3 mths away. choices. to fail? or to give up course of study? u cant proceed when u fail and i was almost sure i'll fail so i made the decision to quit in hope of returning perhaps... another day.. someday?
i've been readin the novels written by David Eddings recently. The Belgariad & The Mallorean. all 10 books of them. think it took me more than a mth to complete reading all these bks hahaha and i've already read it 3 times (including this round) over a span of years since secondary school days. the book sorta never fails to get me reading it like an addict and i remembered the time when i first read the bk. the addiction hit main blood stream and seeped into it hahahha i was holding the novels almost every single moment and read it the moment i could spare time to do so. i found myself holding the book in my hands almost except the time i'm sleeping. i'll read when eating.. read it just before i sleep and read in during the journey i make to go school and of course, that includes the time i have when i'm free.
now that i've finished knitting 3 hp pouches for 3 different people whose birthday are coming up (and one is for my dearest of course, as a bdae present.) and now i proceed on to my next project which is also a bdae present. a scarf. gonna take a long time to complete though. since my readings are more or less coming to an end i think i'll find myself with more time to spare to concentrate on my knitting now.
in the bus today i had some strange feelings. some strange feelings for the future showing how nice things may turn out and what is waiting out there. suddenly a surge of long unfelt emotions came to me. hm.. i havent felt this for quite sometime. at least not this strongly. i think i could almost find myself smiling unconsciously, i think i didnt?, that.... i really do love him alot don't i? and the surety in it makes me feel very settled. i'm been kinda shaky lately. not in my feelings.. but in my own confidence and i've become unsure of myself.
last night's short exchange of smses was helpful to what settled my nerves i guess.
today's mommy's bdae.
20 June 2005
help mark do advertisement.
actually is cos wad he writes makes sense. encouraging ppl to go read.
hurhur
Mark's Aunt Agony Column
actually is cos wad he writes makes sense. encouraging ppl to go read.
hurhur
Mark's Aunt Agony Column
i cant recall what i did for the rest of the week.
memory failure.
TSK TSK.
There was a huge exhibition going on in Expo last week from mon to friday.
Three industry in one taking up spaces from hall 1 to 5.
BroadcastAsia2005
CommunicAsia2005
EnterpriseIT2005
James was working there during that week so he msged me and we met up for a short while on monday but didn't have much time to have lunch together.
-blank due to memory failure-
ah yes, remember being dragged to parkway to watch chingling, leehuei n hailoon have dinner after work. why dragged? why watch? cos i didnt eat plus i was supposed to head home at that time. it was supposed to be me havin dinner with ah wai that night but leehuei made lotsa noise and had me go down to join them and so i did. *sobz* after dinner we settled at McCafe for drinks and random chatting and i sat there waiting til ah wai comes n pick me up. we went o'er to bedok jetty to makan dinner. poor dear was starving. we had.......mee goreng, chicken wing and fried carrot cake. yummy. after dinner we headed out to the jetty but it was pretty warm and there was no breeze. weird. i had no luck seeing the tortise. *shad* then i was reaaaaaaaally sleepy. so, we quickly went back home. i didn't realise how sleepy i was till i lie down on my bed. ah wai told me i concussed the moment i lie down on my bed. O_O!!
oh yeah, my hongkong vendor came to sg too on thurs. dropped by office and came into the room to greet me. gav me a shock. i was like....in a mess LOL pretty much sitting comfortably cross legged on the chair and all then the whole bunch of them came in with my supervisor no warning wadsoever! shucks then quickly wear slippers n stand up hahahahaha then nod and all. cos duno wad language to speak to her in. canto? chinese? english!? then she said hi n all too n soon left. *wipes sweat*
hm..... *ponders for a moment*
ah yes, i met up with yifeng for dinner in the evening on friday. halfday for me at work cos it's the 20th annivasary for Discovery Channel so everyone gets to go eat buffet at Hyatt except temp staffs + interns. unfair treatment. but anyway get to leave work at 3pm heh..
so went with chingling to walk ard expo cos she wanted to look at the latest equipments n all to 'update' her room with. bumped into jamesy hehe cos strolled into his co's stand. usually the biggest hoo-haa comes from the media industry. esp handphone companies e.g. ntt docomo, motorola, sony ericsson, samsung, *strangely no nokia in sight, no siemen too*, bla bla bla
cool phones cool gadgets. didnt even know sanyo has digicams. of course, market development, they use a different brand name for that product line.
there were people wearing starwars suit hahaha then motorola's gimmick was havin dancers ard. male ones. then u get to see lotsa pretty ladies wearing tight leathery clothes. some nice foreigner models too. then as u proceed further to the broadcasting areas.. u see cool stuff like ppl teaching u how to use + demonstrating to u how effeciently they pdt can do certain neat video editing tricks. lighting..cameras..audios.. woo... *stand in awe* after the exihibition i left to meet my dear ah wai at kallang where we satisfied my craving for frenchfries. muahaha then too tired so feel asleep on his shoulders *guilty* met up with yifeng in the evening to makan korean food at meridien (is dat hw u spell it?). after dinner we walked ard the building and found weird stuffs to look at. HUGE BUG INSECT THINGY! *WHOA* then jalan back for me to take bus go home heh. dear was workin night shift so i reached home to give him a call cos i know he'll be waiting. after finish chatting on the phone i lie on the bed thinking that i'll rest for awhile before bathing BUT.. i end up falling asleep again!!!!!!! concussed til 7am!
saturday was ktv session with sano n lijun at this place sano found in apollo. hm not too bad i guess the amt of japanese songs they have is good. much better than kbox n partyworld definitely. and that includes the amt of malay songs they have too. the chinese songs they have are pretty all up to date i guess. we sang for four hours. after that we had our dinner and all and after that i pretty much stayed home doin my own stuff e.g. knit, read story book, stone etc etc and waited till my dear ah wai gets to my hse. (2am!! *strangles that stupid boi*)
yesterday was father's day. so we whipped up a meal at night for dear ol' daddy. mom cooked prawn n soup, ah wai fried omelette, me made pancakes which everyone kept pinching till left only 3 ( i made 7!!?!?!?!) n last bt not least, my dou miao (duno english call wad) which taste kinda bland but ok i guess cos 1. mom add too much water? n 2. nt enuff oyster sauce. so....voila! then i granted permission for wilson to hav a cup of chocolate milk. cute contented expressions spreaded across his face as he holds the mug with his two hands like it's something precious and accompanying that look was a cheeky grin. *raise eyebrow*
watched tv for awhile then at after watching both zheng ban qiao on ch55, n switching to watch Rush Hour2 and lastly the initial part of Dracula2000 (which sucked), ah wai left to go home cos he got work tomorrow morn.
i WAS supposed to meet up with alicia n anna 2day.
then there were some miscommunication somewhere abt anna's workin date cos she blur then we blur then all blur RARR and alicia forgot abt the meeting RARRRRx2 !!!!
so i think i'm havin dinner alone at night. or mebbe i drag cousins out. cos already told mom wun be back for dinner.......
miss him.
haiz
memory failure.
TSK TSK.
There was a huge exhibition going on in Expo last week from mon to friday.
Three industry in one taking up spaces from hall 1 to 5.
BroadcastAsia2005
CommunicAsia2005
EnterpriseIT2005
James was working there during that week so he msged me and we met up for a short while on monday but didn't have much time to have lunch together.
-blank due to memory failure-
ah yes, remember being dragged to parkway to watch chingling, leehuei n hailoon have dinner after work. why dragged? why watch? cos i didnt eat plus i was supposed to head home at that time. it was supposed to be me havin dinner with ah wai that night but leehuei made lotsa noise and had me go down to join them and so i did. *sobz* after dinner we settled at McCafe for drinks and random chatting and i sat there waiting til ah wai comes n pick me up. we went o'er to bedok jetty to makan dinner. poor dear was starving. we had.......mee goreng, chicken wing and fried carrot cake. yummy. after dinner we headed out to the jetty but it was pretty warm and there was no breeze. weird. i had no luck seeing the tortise. *shad* then i was reaaaaaaaally sleepy. so, we quickly went back home. i didn't realise how sleepy i was till i lie down on my bed. ah wai told me i concussed the moment i lie down on my bed. O_O!!
oh yeah, my hongkong vendor came to sg too on thurs. dropped by office and came into the room to greet me. gav me a shock. i was like....in a mess LOL pretty much sitting comfortably cross legged on the chair and all then the whole bunch of them came in with my supervisor no warning wadsoever! shucks then quickly wear slippers n stand up hahahahaha then nod and all. cos duno wad language to speak to her in. canto? chinese? english!? then she said hi n all too n soon left. *wipes sweat*
hm..... *ponders for a moment*
ah yes, i met up with yifeng for dinner in the evening on friday. halfday for me at work cos it's the 20th annivasary for Discovery Channel so everyone gets to go eat buffet at Hyatt except temp staffs + interns. unfair treatment. but anyway get to leave work at 3pm heh..
so went with chingling to walk ard expo cos she wanted to look at the latest equipments n all to 'update' her room with. bumped into jamesy hehe cos strolled into his co's stand. usually the biggest hoo-haa comes from the media industry. esp handphone companies e.g. ntt docomo, motorola, sony ericsson, samsung, *strangely no nokia in sight, no siemen too*, bla bla bla
cool phones cool gadgets. didnt even know sanyo has digicams. of course, market development, they use a different brand name for that product line.
there were people wearing starwars suit hahaha then motorola's gimmick was havin dancers ard. male ones. then u get to see lotsa pretty ladies wearing tight leathery clothes. some nice foreigner models too. then as u proceed further to the broadcasting areas.. u see cool stuff like ppl teaching u how to use + demonstrating to u how effeciently they pdt can do certain neat video editing tricks. lighting..cameras..audios.. woo... *stand in awe* after the exihibition i left to meet my dear ah wai at kallang where we satisfied my craving for frenchfries. muahaha then too tired so feel asleep on his shoulders *guilty* met up with yifeng in the evening to makan korean food at meridien (is dat hw u spell it?). after dinner we walked ard the building and found weird stuffs to look at. HUGE BUG INSECT THINGY! *WHOA* then jalan back for me to take bus go home heh. dear was workin night shift so i reached home to give him a call cos i know he'll be waiting. after finish chatting on the phone i lie on the bed thinking that i'll rest for awhile before bathing BUT.. i end up falling asleep again!!!!!!! concussed til 7am!
saturday was ktv session with sano n lijun at this place sano found in apollo. hm not too bad i guess the amt of japanese songs they have is good. much better than kbox n partyworld definitely. and that includes the amt of malay songs they have too. the chinese songs they have are pretty all up to date i guess. we sang for four hours. after that we had our dinner and all and after that i pretty much stayed home doin my own stuff e.g. knit, read story book, stone etc etc and waited till my dear ah wai gets to my hse. (2am!! *strangles that stupid boi*)
yesterday was father's day. so we whipped up a meal at night for dear ol' daddy. mom cooked prawn n soup, ah wai fried omelette, me made pancakes which everyone kept pinching till left only 3 ( i made 7!!?!?!?!) n last bt not least, my dou miao (duno english call wad) which taste kinda bland but ok i guess cos 1. mom add too much water? n 2. nt enuff oyster sauce. so....voila! then i granted permission for wilson to hav a cup of chocolate milk. cute contented expressions spreaded across his face as he holds the mug with his two hands like it's something precious and accompanying that look was a cheeky grin. *raise eyebrow*
watched tv for awhile then at after watching both zheng ban qiao on ch55, n switching to watch Rush Hour2 and lastly the initial part of Dracula2000 (which sucked), ah wai left to go home cos he got work tomorrow morn.
i WAS supposed to meet up with alicia n anna 2day.
then there were some miscommunication somewhere abt anna's workin date cos she blur then we blur then all blur RARR and alicia forgot abt the meeting RARRRRx2 !!!!
so i think i'm havin dinner alone at night. or mebbe i drag cousins out. cos already told mom wun be back for dinner.......
miss him.
haiz
16 June 2005
Less than an hour before i go.
Bored is probably the best word to describe how i'm feeling now.
Maybe you can throw in the word 'grumpy' too.
I wonder if it's bcos i slept too much. but i've been grumpy lately. perhaps lack of late night activities to excite my life. i wanna sleep. rest. something.
getting a split headache from reading blogs with crap english. i refuse to think that it's bcos i'm old but their grossly misspelt words. it's ok to have abbreviations of course. we have the standard 'of cos', 'rite', 'bcos' etc etc
but anything that has more than 5 deliberately misspelt words in a sentence of 10 words, i'll flog u personally.
i'm really havin a great deal of trouble reading and understanding and do u know typing such crappy english screws up ur english big time? that includes all the messed up english with no grammer wadsoever. when the time comes for proper english, gd luck to u.
fumbled thro a few more blogs and read a ex-colleagues's entry. sad to know she broke up. it's kinda like a season for break ups for the previous few mths. once u break up u'll start finding most of the ppl ard u facing the same problem somehow. maciam some sorta chained reaction. sheesh.
can see she is pretty affected. then the qn of trust pops up to every break-up-ees. can they trust? who to trust? haiz. too subjective. fault of the society allowing ppl to be so frivolous abt relationships? i believe largely so but not entirely.
when i faced MY own break up more than half a year ago, those who were around me know how bad a state i was in and how so devastated i was. i too was abit sceptical abt people on how much trust do they deserve. but i was still willing to trust, if the right one comes along of course.
so i was darn careful with my choice and decision.
thank god, till now i feel blessed with whom i'm with.
somehow i won't say we're characteristically the same. nor are all our interest alike. in fact there are alot of dissimilarities but not threatening ones. good thing and things we do share and have in common, are our principles and values.
i wonder what everyone expects from a r/s?
everyone's expectation is quite different.
some wants it to be companionship-somewhat. as in, have someone to be with them, to take care of them, bla bla bla
to some it's omost like a game.
some undeniably serious in the relationship but there are cases of possesiveness that turns sour...
some wants it to fill up their time..
how long is a relationship worth?
how long is long?
or in their expectation, how long do they expect it to last?
forever?
pls define forever to me. i want statistics.
issit merely an illusionary destination that perhaps could nt be reached? or perhaps 6 mths considered long enuff? i've heard of cases of 2 weeks! perhaps till marriage? after that? divorce in view? or is marriage+kids+growing old and wrinkly too beyond the 'forever' u know that it kinda freaks u out?
i've someone tell me 3 years (refering to my past r/s) is abt time to break up. reached end of r/s where both party is sian. someone older than me. that's probably the lamest thing i've heard, and the most unacceptable explaination. but of course, everyone's opinions differ and everybody meets different ppl and it's not often u get lucky enuff to meet someone gd and havin so many encounters with assholes, u more or less will sum it up to being that the world is unfair and we shldn't be so naive.
saddening.
*clings on to ah wai*
THANK GOD I FOUND U! *BLINKS*
Bored is probably the best word to describe how i'm feeling now.
Maybe you can throw in the word 'grumpy' too.
I wonder if it's bcos i slept too much. but i've been grumpy lately. perhaps lack of late night activities to excite my life. i wanna sleep. rest. something.
getting a split headache from reading blogs with crap english. i refuse to think that it's bcos i'm old but their grossly misspelt words. it's ok to have abbreviations of course. we have the standard 'of cos', 'rite', 'bcos' etc etc
but anything that has more than 5 deliberately misspelt words in a sentence of 10 words, i'll flog u personally.
i'm really havin a great deal of trouble reading and understanding and do u know typing such crappy english screws up ur english big time? that includes all the messed up english with no grammer wadsoever. when the time comes for proper english, gd luck to u.
fumbled thro a few more blogs and read a ex-colleagues's entry. sad to know she broke up. it's kinda like a season for break ups for the previous few mths. once u break up u'll start finding most of the ppl ard u facing the same problem somehow. maciam some sorta chained reaction. sheesh.
can see she is pretty affected. then the qn of trust pops up to every break-up-ees. can they trust? who to trust? haiz. too subjective. fault of the society allowing ppl to be so frivolous abt relationships? i believe largely so but not entirely.
when i faced MY own break up more than half a year ago, those who were around me know how bad a state i was in and how so devastated i was. i too was abit sceptical abt people on how much trust do they deserve. but i was still willing to trust, if the right one comes along of course.
so i was darn careful with my choice and decision.
thank god, till now i feel blessed with whom i'm with.
somehow i won't say we're characteristically the same. nor are all our interest alike. in fact there are alot of dissimilarities but not threatening ones. good thing and things we do share and have in common, are our principles and values.
i wonder what everyone expects from a r/s?
everyone's expectation is quite different.
some wants it to be companionship-somewhat. as in, have someone to be with them, to take care of them, bla bla bla
to some it's omost like a game.
some undeniably serious in the relationship but there are cases of possesiveness that turns sour...
some wants it to fill up their time..
how long is a relationship worth?
how long is long?
or in their expectation, how long do they expect it to last?
forever?
pls define forever to me. i want statistics.
issit merely an illusionary destination that perhaps could nt be reached? or perhaps 6 mths considered long enuff? i've heard of cases of 2 weeks! perhaps till marriage? after that? divorce in view? or is marriage+kids+growing old and wrinkly too beyond the 'forever' u know that it kinda freaks u out?
i've someone tell me 3 years (refering to my past r/s) is abt time to break up. reached end of r/s where both party is sian. someone older than me. that's probably the lamest thing i've heard, and the most unacceptable explaination. but of course, everyone's opinions differ and everybody meets different ppl and it's not often u get lucky enuff to meet someone gd and havin so many encounters with assholes, u more or less will sum it up to being that the world is unfair and we shldn't be so naive.
saddening.
*clings on to ah wai*
THANK GOD I FOUND U! *BLINKS*
15 June 2005
hm...
cooling morning to begin the day with. not sure if i can say i might've been a tad too cooling till the wind chilled my bones.
it felt like open air air-con or something.
but taking in a breath of fresh morning air was great.
except for the times where there's the contamination of exhaust fumes from passing vehicles.
he didn't stay over yesternight.
he has been together with me and we were like super glues since last friday perhaps?
poor dear went to the chinese sinseh to treat his back.
they had his 'bad' blood sucked out leavin two HUGE marks on his lower back with bruises.
a grown man could cringe at the sight of it.
serious rheumetism due to long untreated injury.
my poor boy.
he was the birthday boy on monday.
so now he's officially 21. lol
after havin met up with iman to go to Nine West's warehouse sale, three of us (me, bf n iman) went over to paya lebar to play UNO. heh then ate at foodcourt and stuffed ourselves silly with fruits and yogurt. i bought pancake mix. HEH and koko krunch. HEH and honey tomato.
saturday we had a drinking session with his buddies mainly from camp and also childhood friends to celebrate for him his bdae in advance. they kinda made him drink alot till he was really drunk. but funny thing was he's the most sane and sensible drunk i've seen. lol how ironic.
when a person is drunk how they behave does explain alot about their characters.
it's interesting to see the different behaviours coming from intoxicated people.
i become very cheerful and bold for some reason.
but when the people starts becomin a nuisance, it's irritating.
nonetheless after the drinking session with him roaring drunk and then his friend took him out for breathers and all, he came back more or less recovered. took care of him for the night.
sunday he went to see the sinseh anyhow. i think we had beach road prawn mee (near my hse) in the afternoon? n we ate at kallang with my folks at night methinks? cant recall. memory lapse. in the afternoon while he napped in my room i sneaked out of the hse to buy him a slice of cake, and also fresh milk for monday's breakfast. during the night we watched vcd and i sprung him a surprise with the slice of candle-litted cake and hand-knitted pouch and also a handwritten letter. his expression when he saw me comin thro the door with a cake in hand was priceless. i know he was truly happy that night and i'm happy too. after presenting the bdae boi his present i handed him the letter. then i left the room to have him read the letter at his own discreet. was alittle shy to hang ard while he reads.
monday morning, i woke up in the morning to prepare breakfast for him. made pancakes and had koko krunch. pancake a lil out of shape. *shad* shall try again. taste wise it's fine. mom suggested adding eggs n wilson said to add less butter. ok let's try again. am gonna use my tiny frying pan this time.
we visited his mom in the afternoon i think? argh my time is getting mixed up, niway we also watched Mr & Mrs Smith with his friends at night. The movies was really entertaining. i know i've watched a good one when i laugh out loud sincerely. i seldom laugh out loud at movies. at the most chuckle a little in my seat or something.
tuesday nearly died. work piled up in a monstrous heap. that's one of the things i hate when i take off and hav to go back to work the next day.
expo was havin CommunicAsia 2005, EntreprenuerAsia 2005, and IT(somethingsomething) 2005.
Jamesy is there for CommunicAsia 2005. will be there til friday. met up with him for a short while before heading out for lunch.
did i mention that i'm gonna attempt to make a scarf?
wish me luck!
wilson insisted in comin over to fetch me to work this morning n appeared sad when i suggested him not to. so i let him fetch. can wake up late anyway hee...
we went changi village for dinner last night. had nasi lemak. yummy. sat n chatted for a while and realised what a great guy i have with me right now and i'm feeling so in love. then as the convo went on there was also some disappointments. not in him. but a fellow friend. guy friend. hm perhaps that's hw generally guys in the society functions and only a few good ones have the right integrity.
at night in my room me n wilson had another round of our usual chats. i'm always full of my theories wadsoever but now i hav someone who likes to listen to me talk hehe we were talkin abt topics that was pretty far off but yet it's not all that far. parenting.. marriage.. expected age to get kids. good to get perspective and ideas out and discussed to know if the expectation tallies.
To think i still dun somehw feel at all like an adult, he tells me all will change in probably another year or so. RARR.. hate growing up.
cooling morning to begin the day with. not sure if i can say i might've been a tad too cooling till the wind chilled my bones.
it felt like open air air-con or something.
but taking in a breath of fresh morning air was great.
except for the times where there's the contamination of exhaust fumes from passing vehicles.
he didn't stay over yesternight.
he has been together with me and we were like super glues since last friday perhaps?
poor dear went to the chinese sinseh to treat his back.
they had his 'bad' blood sucked out leavin two HUGE marks on his lower back with bruises.
a grown man could cringe at the sight of it.
serious rheumetism due to long untreated injury.
my poor boy.
he was the birthday boy on monday.
so now he's officially 21. lol
after havin met up with iman to go to Nine West's warehouse sale, three of us (me, bf n iman) went over to paya lebar to play UNO. heh then ate at foodcourt and stuffed ourselves silly with fruits and yogurt. i bought pancake mix. HEH and koko krunch. HEH and honey tomato.
saturday we had a drinking session with his buddies mainly from camp and also childhood friends to celebrate for him his bdae in advance. they kinda made him drink alot till he was really drunk. but funny thing was he's the most sane and sensible drunk i've seen. lol how ironic.
when a person is drunk how they behave does explain alot about their characters.
it's interesting to see the different behaviours coming from intoxicated people.
i become very cheerful and bold for some reason.
but when the people starts becomin a nuisance, it's irritating.
nonetheless after the drinking session with him roaring drunk and then his friend took him out for breathers and all, he came back more or less recovered. took care of him for the night.
sunday he went to see the sinseh anyhow. i think we had beach road prawn mee (near my hse) in the afternoon? n we ate at kallang with my folks at night methinks? cant recall. memory lapse. in the afternoon while he napped in my room i sneaked out of the hse to buy him a slice of cake, and also fresh milk for monday's breakfast. during the night we watched vcd and i sprung him a surprise with the slice of candle-litted cake and hand-knitted pouch and also a handwritten letter. his expression when he saw me comin thro the door with a cake in hand was priceless. i know he was truly happy that night and i'm happy too. after presenting the bdae boi his present i handed him the letter. then i left the room to have him read the letter at his own discreet. was alittle shy to hang ard while he reads.
monday morning, i woke up in the morning to prepare breakfast for him. made pancakes and had koko krunch. pancake a lil out of shape. *shad* shall try again. taste wise it's fine. mom suggested adding eggs n wilson said to add less butter. ok let's try again. am gonna use my tiny frying pan this time.
we visited his mom in the afternoon i think? argh my time is getting mixed up, niway we also watched Mr & Mrs Smith with his friends at night. The movies was really entertaining. i know i've watched a good one when i laugh out loud sincerely. i seldom laugh out loud at movies. at the most chuckle a little in my seat or something.
tuesday nearly died. work piled up in a monstrous heap. that's one of the things i hate when i take off and hav to go back to work the next day.
expo was havin CommunicAsia 2005, EntreprenuerAsia 2005, and IT(somethingsomething) 2005.
Jamesy is there for CommunicAsia 2005. will be there til friday. met up with him for a short while before heading out for lunch.
did i mention that i'm gonna attempt to make a scarf?
wish me luck!
wilson insisted in comin over to fetch me to work this morning n appeared sad when i suggested him not to. so i let him fetch. can wake up late anyway hee...
we went changi village for dinner last night. had nasi lemak. yummy. sat n chatted for a while and realised what a great guy i have with me right now and i'm feeling so in love. then as the convo went on there was also some disappointments. not in him. but a fellow friend. guy friend. hm perhaps that's hw generally guys in the society functions and only a few good ones have the right integrity.
at night in my room me n wilson had another round of our usual chats. i'm always full of my theories wadsoever but now i hav someone who likes to listen to me talk hehe we were talkin abt topics that was pretty far off but yet it's not all that far. parenting.. marriage.. expected age to get kids. good to get perspective and ideas out and discussed to know if the expectation tallies.
To think i still dun somehw feel at all like an adult, he tells me all will change in probably another year or so. RARR.. hate growing up.
hm... lotsa so-called realisation on my part nowadays...
yet another phrase and time in my life where i go through changes to improve my thoughts and personality and do something about the flaws.
i'm known for havin my emotions fairly well-readable from the expressions of my face. it's not difficult to guess how i'm feeling when u see me. though i've toned down significantly a great deal on some my undesirable personality, there are still room for further improvement.
guess we tend to stop trying to improve when we have that sense of achievement in toning down. tone down does not equate to that undesirable trait to be gone.. it's merely surpressed or not as irritating as before but nonetheless still irritating.
i love the fact that my other half helps in my shaping of character. it sorta balances me out. with emo ppl i tend to be even more emo. sometimes these bouts of emotions, be it anger or sadness, dulls my wits.
i do somehow behave much like a tyrant when things go alittle overboard to my dislike or when i'm embarassed (did i mention i'm not very tolerant of embarassing situations?) i'll turn snappy and hostile.
then as i chatted w my colleagues on one of our usual outings for dinner after work, i realised one step i've made to be rather important and significant. The virtue in rule setting in every relationships. the statement of expectations.
note: i do not, i repeat, do not mean DEMANDs when i mentioned expecations.
some stuff, when we compromise, we're merely letting the other party drag their feet over the prob. or step all over ur head. when the prob is there and u dun put a stop or mention beforehand that those r things not desired in a r/s, so on n so forth, over the long run it's juz gonna jump back at ya.
and when finally after a long period of time of keeping mum about it n u finally decided that u're not gonna tolerate that nonsense anymore or etc etc, well, bite ur tongue! cos ur partner has almost 80% (perhaps more) tendency to rebut u with this.
"then why issit u didnt tell me this before"
etc etc.
Or...
"but u've loved me all the same all these while, why only know then u say u dun like that (wadever issit u dun like) of me!?"
ur silent reply? "cos i didnt wan to hurt u/afraid/etc etc"
we all know how sometimes small things can snowball into something humongous.
Silence is Golden, but not all the time.
i have had set out some directions at the very beginning of my own relationship.
to consult in one another always.
problems are not ur own to keep anymore.
u have someone you should share with.
issues should be raised when in doubt.
even if u know it doesnt sound fantastic.
perhaps it's abt a particular undersirable behaviour of ur other half. and it's His/Her duty to not kick up a big fuss o'er it.
well, that is if they realise it's for their own good.
i've been thro so i know. kickin up a fuss......works in gettin attention, and perhaps getting urself off the hook of havin to take actions to change. but disgustingly misused to the pt it merely irritates the nerve.
think of it this way, u wan ur partner to be truthful to u.
But u cant handle the truth!?
cos u noe wad? truth aint pleasant sounding!!
as time goes by with u kickin up a HUGE fuss whenever there's something irregardless big or small... whether or not it's really worth makin an issue out of it... noe wad? ur partner will eventually shut up and choose not to tell u anything anymore. they r afraid of ur reaction.
There! u've closed a door to good communication.
smart people hold their nerves in the face of big issues even.
then u'll get to hear the whole story. when u fuss before u listen finish, u cut the person short and hahaha u dun get to know wads going on anymore. then u come n ask the person to tell u stuff and everything that comes out from the mouth of that person will end up being a 'revised' version already.
it's kinda abt working hand in hand towards resolving the issues instead of pting fingers at each other first. the latter is merely a waste of time and gets u nowhere. the former increase the bond n trust and brings ur relationship onto a stronger foothold.
trust IS a very big issue. wads the pt of breakin it then try to gain it back. what gd is sayin i trust u when in ur heart u question non stop on the credibility of it.
but of course speakin of rules, there are many things we can say before hand. it's about being clear cut abt ur expectations. to see if u guys are goin towards the same direction.
hm.......
that's all abt everything so far that i can think of typin since i'm groggy after a pretty heavy lunch.
yet another phrase and time in my life where i go through changes to improve my thoughts and personality and do something about the flaws.
i'm known for havin my emotions fairly well-readable from the expressions of my face. it's not difficult to guess how i'm feeling when u see me. though i've toned down significantly a great deal on some my undesirable personality, there are still room for further improvement.
guess we tend to stop trying to improve when we have that sense of achievement in toning down. tone down does not equate to that undesirable trait to be gone.. it's merely surpressed or not as irritating as before but nonetheless still irritating.
i love the fact that my other half helps in my shaping of character. it sorta balances me out. with emo ppl i tend to be even more emo. sometimes these bouts of emotions, be it anger or sadness, dulls my wits.
i do somehow behave much like a tyrant when things go alittle overboard to my dislike or when i'm embarassed (did i mention i'm not very tolerant of embarassing situations?) i'll turn snappy and hostile.
then as i chatted w my colleagues on one of our usual outings for dinner after work, i realised one step i've made to be rather important and significant. The virtue in rule setting in every relationships. the statement of expectations.
note: i do not, i repeat, do not mean DEMANDs when i mentioned expecations.
some stuff, when we compromise, we're merely letting the other party drag their feet over the prob. or step all over ur head. when the prob is there and u dun put a stop or mention beforehand that those r things not desired in a r/s, so on n so forth, over the long run it's juz gonna jump back at ya.
and when finally after a long period of time of keeping mum about it n u finally decided that u're not gonna tolerate that nonsense anymore or etc etc, well, bite ur tongue! cos ur partner has almost 80% (perhaps more) tendency to rebut u with this.
"then why issit u didnt tell me this before"
etc etc.
Or...
"but u've loved me all the same all these while, why only know then u say u dun like that (wadever issit u dun like) of me!?"
ur silent reply? "cos i didnt wan to hurt u/afraid/etc etc"
we all know how sometimes small things can snowball into something humongous.
Silence is Golden, but not all the time.
i have had set out some directions at the very beginning of my own relationship.
to consult in one another always.
problems are not ur own to keep anymore.
u have someone you should share with.
issues should be raised when in doubt.
even if u know it doesnt sound fantastic.
perhaps it's abt a particular undersirable behaviour of ur other half. and it's His/Her duty to not kick up a big fuss o'er it.
well, that is if they realise it's for their own good.
i've been thro so i know. kickin up a fuss......works in gettin attention, and perhaps getting urself off the hook of havin to take actions to change. but disgustingly misused to the pt it merely irritates the nerve.
think of it this way, u wan ur partner to be truthful to u.
But u cant handle the truth!?
cos u noe wad? truth aint pleasant sounding!!
as time goes by with u kickin up a HUGE fuss whenever there's something irregardless big or small... whether or not it's really worth makin an issue out of it... noe wad? ur partner will eventually shut up and choose not to tell u anything anymore. they r afraid of ur reaction.
There! u've closed a door to good communication.
smart people hold their nerves in the face of big issues even.
then u'll get to hear the whole story. when u fuss before u listen finish, u cut the person short and hahaha u dun get to know wads going on anymore. then u come n ask the person to tell u stuff and everything that comes out from the mouth of that person will end up being a 'revised' version already.
it's kinda abt working hand in hand towards resolving the issues instead of pting fingers at each other first. the latter is merely a waste of time and gets u nowhere. the former increase the bond n trust and brings ur relationship onto a stronger foothold.
trust IS a very big issue. wads the pt of breakin it then try to gain it back. what gd is sayin i trust u when in ur heart u question non stop on the credibility of it.
but of course speakin of rules, there are many things we can say before hand. it's about being clear cut abt ur expectations. to see if u guys are goin towards the same direction.
hm.......
that's all abt everything so far that i can think of typin since i'm groggy after a pretty heavy lunch.
06 June 2005
GreatSingaporeSale
Much as I havent been able to find a nice top cheap enough for me to want to buy it, or shld i say, a top that makes me wanna buy it altho it's the SG Sale right now, the Sale does have its benefits... especially on the items I've been eyeing for ages. HEH...
only sucky one perhaps is.. WHY THE GLITTERING DUST THINGY@ BODYSHOP STILL SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXPENSIVE!? *sniff* no discount. shant touch it.
and so with all the storewide discounts that i can take advantage off, i bought a liquid eyeliner from Watson and 5 fantasy novels (yes.. those thick ones) - all from The Mallorean Series of David Eddings from MPH, all at 20% discount. I was gonna buy them anyway. The sale merely made it cheaper HEH and so I think i saved $20, nearly $30 bucks? somewhere ard there.
and so i met up with sano for a short few hours over the weekend before trotting off to meet my dear wilson at toa payoh after his work. there were some cosplaying going along in town but i kinda missed it hahaha. rimei was there. me n sano went window shopping around for awhile hehehehe things are too pricey for us. sano digged the pants from british india. it's been quite a long while he eyed those pants. PINK PANKS FROM GUESS AHAHA *grins @ sano* but it's still pricey as ever. i saw this nice shawl like jacket from country road. it's havin 20% discount BUT, original price? 200 odd. sheesh! me n sano slowly made our way out of the shop like defeated pups.
but since i've gotten my novels, i'm contented heh been engrossed in readin them altho i've actually read the whole series twice already. when i walk and eat n am free in some way or another, the bk is by my side ready for reading. well, that excludes the time when wilson is around me heh or he'll probably set my bks ablaze. only read them when i have time to spare. it makes time more bearable when he's not with me too.
i was supposed to have a hair cut n all. all was smoothly decided (note word: decided) upon that i'm gonna get a haircut n rebond last week. THEN i hear the news that the hairstylist i always go to is on leave. normally she's off on tuesday. it just so happens she's takin leave on that very weekend. BAH.
ah yes. here goes the piccy of the day.
"Reserved" - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *rolls on the flr and laugh till i get cramps*
"EEE PIMPLE!!!" - words from Sano *snickers*
randomly took this pic with sano when i'm in the mrt, on my way to meet my dearest wilson after his work. ^__^
hm on a more serious note on the thoughts i have.
It has always been within my awareness actually. but now i somehow think it's more bad than good. hm. i've always sorta, been known by ppl who are close to me, to be someone who very much dun take things for granted. i kinda appreciate what i have and is more than often contented. that of course, i dun see anything wrong with it. what i feel out of place about.. is the fact that this characteristic of mine, is largely due to me being someone who principally lives for the present.
i constantly monitoring wad goes on daily.. perhaps that contributes to why i'm never feeling the same as the day before. i have to go thro the daily self-reassurance and self-motivation tat the day will be fine and those who loves me still loves me. it's tiring. damn tiring. paranoia and insecurity creeps in more often than normal people would feel i guess? i'm nt sure. on the contrary, i'm therefore also very sure of my everyday feeling and being very 'up-to-date' about my currently condition with regards to several issues.
if not taken too seriously, this normally wouldnt affect me much nor anybody. but since i'm someone who, more than often, thinks too much and is capable of being highly emotional shld i choose to be so. or perhaps if i were to be in a moodswing. things may just blow out of proportion.
paranoia is slowly creeping in. i'm only praying hard that i've learnt my lesson and do not repeat it. by havin my paranoia consume me and and allowing myself to once again sink into depression and wallow in self-pity and the need to be sad in order to match what i feel which i've come to realise, is nothing but a waste of time on such absurbity.
when something is of great value to me, it's only normal for me to fear losing it. haha suddenly remembering the movie Star Wars, Return of the Sith. I empathise with Anakin Skywalker. His fear for losing his wife turns kinda obsessive due to the past where he lost his mother. fear gripped his neck so tightly it can become almost suffocating. I too.. probably would've sinked into his state.. and do what he did. It can drive one into absolute desperation.
bearing in mind my tendency to fall into the extreme, let me be strong enough to have the determination and self-control in this matter.
now, it's about less than 2 hrs before end of work.
about to give my dear a wake up call in another 13minutes time.
can already start imagining myself being in his arms and be hugged.
blissful enough for me. *winks*
Much as I havent been able to find a nice top cheap enough for me to want to buy it, or shld i say, a top that makes me wanna buy it altho it's the SG Sale right now, the Sale does have its benefits... especially on the items I've been eyeing for ages. HEH...
only sucky one perhaps is.. WHY THE GLITTERING DUST THINGY@ BODYSHOP STILL SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXPENSIVE!? *sniff* no discount. shant touch it.
and so with all the storewide discounts that i can take advantage off, i bought a liquid eyeliner from Watson and 5 fantasy novels (yes.. those thick ones) - all from The Mallorean Series of David Eddings from MPH, all at 20% discount. I was gonna buy them anyway. The sale merely made it cheaper HEH and so I think i saved $20, nearly $30 bucks? somewhere ard there.
and so i met up with sano for a short few hours over the weekend before trotting off to meet my dear wilson at toa payoh after his work. there were some cosplaying going along in town but i kinda missed it hahaha. rimei was there. me n sano went window shopping around for awhile hehehehe things are too pricey for us. sano digged the pants from british india. it's been quite a long while he eyed those pants. PINK PANKS FROM GUESS AHAHA *grins @ sano* but it's still pricey as ever. i saw this nice shawl like jacket from country road. it's havin 20% discount BUT, original price? 200 odd. sheesh! me n sano slowly made our way out of the shop like defeated pups.
but since i've gotten my novels, i'm contented heh been engrossed in readin them altho i've actually read the whole series twice already. when i walk and eat n am free in some way or another, the bk is by my side ready for reading. well, that excludes the time when wilson is around me heh or he'll probably set my bks ablaze. only read them when i have time to spare. it makes time more bearable when he's not with me too.
i was supposed to have a hair cut n all. all was smoothly decided (note word: decided) upon that i'm gonna get a haircut n rebond last week. THEN i hear the news that the hairstylist i always go to is on leave. normally she's off on tuesday. it just so happens she's takin leave on that very weekend. BAH.
ah yes. here goes the piccy of the day.
%20(1).jpg)
"Reserved" - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *rolls on the flr and laugh till i get cramps*
.jpg)
"EEE PIMPLE!!!" - words from Sano *snickers*
randomly took this pic with sano when i'm in the mrt, on my way to meet my dearest wilson after his work. ^__^
hm on a more serious note on the thoughts i have.
It has always been within my awareness actually. but now i somehow think it's more bad than good. hm. i've always sorta, been known by ppl who are close to me, to be someone who very much dun take things for granted. i kinda appreciate what i have and is more than often contented. that of course, i dun see anything wrong with it. what i feel out of place about.. is the fact that this characteristic of mine, is largely due to me being someone who principally lives for the present.
i constantly monitoring wad goes on daily.. perhaps that contributes to why i'm never feeling the same as the day before. i have to go thro the daily self-reassurance and self-motivation tat the day will be fine and those who loves me still loves me. it's tiring. damn tiring. paranoia and insecurity creeps in more often than normal people would feel i guess? i'm nt sure. on the contrary, i'm therefore also very sure of my everyday feeling and being very 'up-to-date' about my currently condition with regards to several issues.
if not taken too seriously, this normally wouldnt affect me much nor anybody. but since i'm someone who, more than often, thinks too much and is capable of being highly emotional shld i choose to be so. or perhaps if i were to be in a moodswing. things may just blow out of proportion.
paranoia is slowly creeping in. i'm only praying hard that i've learnt my lesson and do not repeat it. by havin my paranoia consume me and and allowing myself to once again sink into depression and wallow in self-pity and the need to be sad in order to match what i feel which i've come to realise, is nothing but a waste of time on such absurbity.
when something is of great value to me, it's only normal for me to fear losing it. haha suddenly remembering the movie Star Wars, Return of the Sith. I empathise with Anakin Skywalker. His fear for losing his wife turns kinda obsessive due to the past where he lost his mother. fear gripped his neck so tightly it can become almost suffocating. I too.. probably would've sinked into his state.. and do what he did. It can drive one into absolute desperation.
bearing in mind my tendency to fall into the extreme, let me be strong enough to have the determination and self-control in this matter.
now, it's about less than 2 hrs before end of work.
about to give my dear a wake up call in another 13minutes time.
can already start imagining myself being in his arms and be hugged.
blissful enough for me. *winks*
03 June 2005
long awaited n delayed piccies!!!!!
clouds from my office area. nice?
steamboat at Tian Tian Huo Guo *yum*
I ate my fill there but my wallet did too! it got emptied literally!!!! it's buffet. ate the meat n golden mushroom like nobody business. all the staff there are malaysian guys who talk.......... in a somewhat strangely gentle-women-like voices. hm
orenji no taiyou dechau maeni.
Dear Wilson brought me to watch sunrise. it was 7+ at that time. sweet.
orenji no taiyou
Da Sun has risen!!!!! wooooo........ O_O *blinks*
.jpg)
clouds from my office area. nice?
.jpg)
steamboat at Tian Tian Huo Guo *yum*
I ate my fill there but my wallet did too! it got emptied literally!!!! it's buffet. ate the meat n golden mushroom like nobody business. all the staff there are malaysian guys who talk.......... in a somewhat strangely gentle-women-like voices. hm
.jpg)
orenji no taiyou dechau maeni.
Dear Wilson brought me to watch sunrise. it was 7+ at that time. sweet.
.jpg)
orenji no taiyou
Da Sun has risen!!!!! wooooo........ O_O *blinks*
it's kinda freaky how everytime i happen to pass by an area or speak of something and it actually HAPPENS soon after! or in some way i may be associated to that location e.g. work/attachments.
I bumped into my childhood friend.
Ivan.
lost contact with him for nearly 3 years after he changed his hp no. and forgot to inform me. @$#%#$%@#
i've know him since i was in sec 1 back then and he was pri.6
we played soccer together with my bras basah mates for quite a few years n all. subsequently we met up then i lost contact with him for a year or so before bumping into him outside the bus stop just across my house. then we regained contact, chatted on phone, went out sometimes to library or to parkway and he was the first person to correct me in playing pool. when i was workin in BK he would drop by to visit ahaha when he first dyed his hair he came to visit me and i was stunned.
so i kinda am sad having lost contact with close friends n all. did try getting to him but couldn't. remembered calling his hse once. he wasnt in. i was even beginning to wonder if he was studyin overseas.
then i was talking to hailoon today during lunch. me, n some of my colleagues went to expo for lunch cos they were havin a PC fair there (last day is this sunday).
i was telling her about Ivan somehow.
and coincidentally..
as we left the hall.. and to my left i turned my head.. IVAN!
i almost choked.
kinda drama but that's what it is. hahaha i cant believe i actually bumped into him and so i reached out to grab his arms and he too was damn stunned to see me. repeatedly he looked at me and say i changed alot and slimmed down alot. kinda think he's in a state of shock or some kind.
hahaha
finally, i updated my hp with his CORRECT hp no.
I bumped into my childhood friend.
Ivan.
lost contact with him for nearly 3 years after he changed his hp no. and forgot to inform me. @$#%#$%@#
i've know him since i was in sec 1 back then and he was pri.6
we played soccer together with my bras basah mates for quite a few years n all. subsequently we met up then i lost contact with him for a year or so before bumping into him outside the bus stop just across my house. then we regained contact, chatted on phone, went out sometimes to library or to parkway and he was the first person to correct me in playing pool. when i was workin in BK he would drop by to visit ahaha when he first dyed his hair he came to visit me and i was stunned.
so i kinda am sad having lost contact with close friends n all. did try getting to him but couldn't. remembered calling his hse once. he wasnt in. i was even beginning to wonder if he was studyin overseas.
then i was talking to hailoon today during lunch. me, n some of my colleagues went to expo for lunch cos they were havin a PC fair there (last day is this sunday).
i was telling her about Ivan somehow.
and coincidentally..
as we left the hall.. and to my left i turned my head.. IVAN!
i almost choked.
kinda drama but that's what it is. hahaha i cant believe i actually bumped into him and so i reached out to grab his arms and he too was damn stunned to see me. repeatedly he looked at me and say i changed alot and slimmed down alot. kinda think he's in a state of shock or some kind.
hahaha
finally, i updated my hp with his CORRECT hp no.
02 June 2005
finally..someone who wrote what he thinks about Faith n has been the explaination i've been lookin for all these while but couldn't quite muster it up myself yet.
THIS, is what I've always believed.. for faith to represent.
I think I've learnt a lesson in life with regards to faith over the last week. Faith without works is really....just a word. There's no point professing about your faith in something if you aren't willing to show it through deeds. There's no point telling people about your tremendous faith if when it comes to the crunch, you high-tail it and run. Faith is a dirty word to many people, because they feel it involves being naive and trusting. I don't agree. Faith, to me, represents strength and courage. Strength, because of the required inner stability to trust in something you know you can only hope for and not ascertain. Courage, because there's a chance that your faith might fail you and subconsciously, you know you're going to have to muster it in order to forgive and move on. Faith is also important in a relationship, really it is. Without faith and trust, a relationship is really just a companionship.
From a guy name Joel.
Cheers.
THIS, is what I've always believed.. for faith to represent.
I think I've learnt a lesson in life with regards to faith over the last week. Faith without works is really....just a word. There's no point professing about your faith in something if you aren't willing to show it through deeds. There's no point telling people about your tremendous faith if when it comes to the crunch, you high-tail it and run. Faith is a dirty word to many people, because they feel it involves being naive and trusting. I don't agree. Faith, to me, represents strength and courage. Strength, because of the required inner stability to trust in something you know you can only hope for and not ascertain. Courage, because there's a chance that your faith might fail you and subconsciously, you know you're going to have to muster it in order to forgive and move on. Faith is also important in a relationship, really it is. Without faith and trust, a relationship is really just a companionship.
From a guy name Joel.
Cheers.
